EMPOWERED ON-LINE DATING//AMANDA FRANCES GIVES US THE 411.
Amanda Frances: The friend of mine who understands the frustration in a restaurant not having valet , your lash girl being sick the day you are getting a lash fill, how a chipped manicure can force one to stay in bed all day and not adult , and generally just my soul sister ! Plus we both lived in Dallas so we have a lot in common. So one night we were out and about one night drinking black velvets and shoveling french fries in our faces with four different dipping sauces . ( true story) Our waiter is totally flirting with her which I think she is oblivious to but then later says he needed to grow a pair and ask her out ! She keeps swiping right and swiping left on her phone and even though I have not been on the market myself for years i know what the whole swiping thing is from Man Repeller.
I am intrigued with the whole process and have to instantly get the 411. My single friends are always like Samantha.. How do I find love? Should I get on a dating website? Would you get on one in another life without Lin? One ... I am a terrible dater. Do not take advice from me. I dated for three years after my divorce and it was the absolute worst! Omg . The whole texting thing and back and fourth and never knowing where I stand or really my main issue.. Letting the other person involved knowing where they stood. Or wasting months only to find out there is no way In hell I would want to have a future with this person! And then my favorite.. The guy that is apparently sleeping with you and another person whom you know and everyone gets to find out when the three of you are at the same bar! True story. That was terrible. What a douche bag. Good thing me and the other girl joined forces and became friends and are still friends to this day! And 2 . Yes I would get on a dating site if I ever found myself single again. I just think at this point in my life I am too busy to really go out and meet people and honestly I have some things that are just deal breakers for me so why waste time? Lin has set the bar so high that heaven forbid anything should happen because another man probably doesn't stand a chance! But enough about me and onto the dating app 411! Amanda has been on the market after a 7 year long relationship and I love that she puts herself out there..100 percent! There is no holding back with this girl boss.
Amanda Frances Interview:
- What is your fave on line dating site and why?
I am on Bumble! Seems a little classier than some of the others – plus girls have to message guys first – which helps with creepers.
-Craziest date you have been on using said site? Give me all the juicy or very un-juicy details.
Ummm… My favorite one is this: I was out of town in a gorgeous city. I was swiping left, (dislike) on Bumble. I randomly started talking to a cute guy who lived nearby. He asked what I did for a living… I said I was coming off a crazy digital course launch. He was like, “Holy F*ck! I create digital courses" and sent me screenshot of the one he was working on. I was like “WTF! That’s amazing.” And sent him a screenshot of the dirty martini I was drinking on this like huge terrace over looking the city and was like, “I know this is crazy, but I leave town tomorrow, come have a drink with me.” (My gut said he was harmless. Always trust your gut) so we each had a martini and popped a bottle of champs. (He literally taught me how to like distance pop a bottle #newlifeskill.) And we snuck up to the literal rooftop of the hotel. We finished the bottle of champagne, watched the stars, could see the entire city below and made out (literally just made out) all night. I was coming off a break up and it was literally exactly what I needed.
And we stayed in touch. Perfect random out of town date.
-Walk us through the process.... So you find someone you like? You give him your number? Then what??
So, I try to heavily rely on my gut when swiping (Your brain is going "Player... Cowboy... Mama’s boy... Underachiever…" Listen to that shit.) When you find yourself saying, "I want to talk to him..." swipe right.
As far as the number thing goes… I’m a busy girl. And I believe chemistry is chemistry is chemistry. If both people aren’t holding back you know if you have chemistry while you are messaging on the app. I don’t think it necessarily takes a phone call or a date to know the obvious. I don’t go out with most people I match with. If I like you, I’ll prob give you my number.
-You find someone you like… he responds but then...what is the deal breaker? Give the guys some advice here........
Deal breaker (per usual) is not making a move. I hit it off with this one-guy months and months ago who would not just like make the fucking move. We can only message on Bumble for so long before someone needs to make an actual effort. Homeboy needed to get on an airplane. Some boys just aren’t ready to be men. Some boys are on the app just trying to get over their ex girlfriend (had one recently talk about an ex for an entire first date). Or waiting to get back together with an ex. Don't fall in love on a dating app. Just gather evidence and decide if someone is worth an hour of your life. That being said… You are empowered women. You can ask a guy out. It’s fine. Just keep in mind that you are setting a precedent here. I need a man that can man up. So if they don’t start trying to exhibit some kind of masculine “I’ve got this” energy pretty quickly… Get out.
If they aren’t over their ex or talk a lot about other women… Get out.
If they creepily try to get you to send them naked pictures after one date… Get out.
Best dating advice I got: Be the girl who walks away.
I’m really good a fixing/repairing/seeing potential… eff that crap. Walk away.
-Advice to someone using this site for the first time??
Like I said, it’s fun that you have to message guy first, BUT it’s also annoying that you are technically making the first move.
You have 24 hours to write the guy. But each guy on Bumble has a chance to extend the time limit for one girl each day. If you want to see who actually wants to talk to you… Don’t message anyone who doesn’t extend for you.
-Do you believe that singles can find love with mobile dating apps or will they remain predominantly for hook-ups?
Do you think social media hurts or helps relationships?
The biggest problem with dating apps is that most people on there have been using them for a long time. They are jaded. They have gone out with a million people they didn’t hit it off with. They have talked to a million people who just stopped writing them back. They stop taking the process seriously.
So f'ing annoying. After you use an app for awhile, people start to seem disposable.
And that sucks.
Hook ups: I think it’s important to know what you are looking for going in. You can use an app for whatever you want to. Hook up if you want to hook up. Search Mr. Right or Mr. Right Now if you want to.
It’s no different then when I was in my early 20s meeting men in bars… Everyone says that “You aren’t going to find the one in a bar…” but says who? I’m a successful woman sometimes using apps… who says successful men aren’t sometimes using apps too.
If you don’t want it to be a hook up… don’t hook up with the person.
You're a grown ass woman. Do what you want to do.
-What do you wear on a first date?
What ever I’m in the mood for that day. I often wear rompers and heels. Or torn up jeans and v-necks.
I just try to just feel like myself.
(PS: I stopped trying to coordinate my heel height to the guy’s height. I like heels. I wear heels. If you feel short, I’m sorry.)
-What is your ideal dream first date?
Ideal dream first date… That’s a hard one. Like any girl… a love a f'ing grand gesture… but honestly, my favorite dates so far have just been the ones when I genuinely liked the person. And we easily had fun together. And we find ourselves planning the next time to hang out before the night was over. And it wasn’t weird. That’s the stuff you can’t force.
That damn x-factor… that thing you feel with people who just like… you can’t force that sh*t
I’m strong. Like way strong. If a guy can stand up to me without being an ass hole… we have something to work with.
-How will the first date become the second?
IDK! I mean… if a boy doesn’t ask me out for a second date and try to get on my calendar during the first date… I think he’s an idiot.
-What's next for Amanda Frances?
I think I’m going to like move to Australia or Bali or Southeast Asia for a little while. I want to buy a home in Tulsa so I can come back when I please. And I just want to keep doing my damn thing... Endeavoring to change the world... One empowered woman at a time.
-And are we dating someone right now??
I am single as f**k.
All though I did get JUST get a very interesting text from Amanda while on a plane to Tulum. So this story will have to be continued. But in the meantime single babes, use the apps in the right way and you avoid a lot of wasted time. If you want to be serious, focus on the quality. Take chances! For me..my best advice on love is compromise. And compromise for fighting for those things that are worth it. To be selfless because you love a person.
Happy swiping and shop the story here...
XO
Sam